I spent a year¹ of my life writing stories about Jennifer Love Hewitt. I thought: This is going to be the last thing I write, because this is not the kind of thing normal people do. But something magical happened, which is that people really seem to be enjoying and responding to these stories, way beyond anything I ever imagined or hoped for.

Some examples:

Okay, so this is just good. Good good, like old fashioned couldn’t-stop-reading good. How on earth would you explain it to someone?

I would buy this based on the title alone.

so engrossed in @kfan’s new + wonderful book that i tried to kiss my cat without stopping reading and almost planted one on her balloon knot

(I had to look up “balloon knot” on urban dictionary, FYI. o_O)

I can only speak from the experience of page 7, but I’m hooked.

This is an incredible price for something that should be 20x that much.

It’s seriously fucking epic.

This book is so good that I am pissed I didn’t think of it first. I am filled with delight and murderous jealousy at the same time. This is the highest compliment that I give regarding things I read.

Also this, which you kind of have to see for yourself to believe.

My most sincere and heart-exploding thanks for everyone who’s said nice things about the book. Which is still available, and hopefully will be for a while.

1. actually it was more than that [↩]

We at Cold God Press are very pleased to find ourselves announcing a new book, entitled Jennifer Love Hewitt Times Infinity–

–Being an exploration of the myth and secret history of one of the greatest actresses of our time, and comprised of some 15 heretofore unpublished stories, including:

The War Between Angels & Ghosts
The Rogue Programmers
The Internet’s Riddle
The Guardian of the Afterlife
The Dream-Stealing Theory

and so very much more, embraced in a full-color cover by Maré Odomo.

This book is 1/2 size, 36pp, and just shy of 12,000 words.

The print version (which we recommend, it is frankly stunning) is available right now via Paypal (see below). For the reader on the go, we offer an electronic version for the Kindle or iPhone Kindle app.

Shipping to

USA $8.00 Canada $9.00 Anywhere else $10.00

A few things:

1) There are 15-ish? I think? copies left of How I Learned To Love You From So Far Away. Once those are gone I think we’ll be done with it.* It’s expensive to print and so heavy to carry. A bunch of people have listed it as “to read” on Goodreads. Pray God they notice this blog update and act with haste.

2) Look at all these pictures and quotes and reactions to the book that I’ve collected over on the tumblr. How lucky am I.

3) Josh Luft of What A Fool Believes recently interviewed me and the results were mind-blowing. He had me send him answers, which he used to then create the questions. Some of what I’m talking about here is about my next book, but you wouldn’t know it. Josh Luft does amazing work; read the interview here.

4) I’ve been writing a lot of chats lately if you are a person who likes imaginary internet-based conversation.

5) Oh, internet. Hang in there.

*ETA: Except for the Amazon Kindle version, of which there are infinity copies remaining.

A few months ago a fellow by the name of Jim Bennett emailed me asking for permission to turn some of my stories into short films. I said “Sure!” and figured that would be the last I ever heard of it, because I know how it is, with plans and the ladies and so forth. But then a few weeks ago I got an email from him saying “OK, almost done,” and I looked up from the level of Lego Batman I was playing to be all  “Wah???” and then almost right away I got another saying “OK, done, here’s the link.”

So I guess he showed me.

Jim did an amazing job turning The Vanishing Act into a short film. It’s all the more impressive to me in light of the fact that he’s a high school senior, because when I was a senior I did nothing BUT talk about all the movies I wanted to make. And that’s exactly as far as I ever got, talking about it.

Anyways, this made for a great start to the year. Please check out Jim’s version of The Vanishing Act.

Dear everyone: I hope things are going OK for you. This is just a note to let you know that  I am leaving the country for a few days, so tomorrow (Tuesday the 22nd of December, 2009) will be the last day I can ship out copies of How I Learned until January. Basically any orders that come in today before 8 pm Eastern time will go out tomorrow.

This is not life-and-death stuff here, but it seemed worth noting.

If you are waiting to see some reviews before deciding whether to purchase, people named Tyler and Maré have given it 4 stars on Goodreads.

Thank you.

If you are a big-picture thinker, interested in more holiday/end-of-year type information, I made a list of things about 2009 here.